Still counting;

He's a monkey but he's my monkey.

Almost two years

and still counting.

:')

Hopefully, one day;

I cannot wait for the days where we can walk around our apartment in just our underwear and stay in bed all day if we want. We'll shower together in the morning and make cute dinners and watch movies. Then, at the end of the day, we can fall asleep at each other's arms knowing that we'll still be next to each other when we wake up in the morning. It will be perfect.

Math can really drives me crazayyyy;

The moment when you’re trying so damn hard to prove the trigonometry identities but you couldn’t, then you realized that you actually copied the question wrongly.

Selamat Hari Merdeka;

Walaupun Malaysia dah lama merdeka, pemikiran kita masih tidak merdeka. Sebab itu politik kita makin kotor, sebab itu rakyat kita takde manner sangat. Nak beratur tak pandai, nak menghormati sesama sendiri pun tak pandai. Kalau pemikiran kita sudah merdeka, kenapa masih ada yang racist terhadap bangsa lain walaupun kita hidup dalam satu negara dan di bawah satu perlembagaan ? 

Sedih tgk negara yang semakin berpecah belah. 

Grown up thingy;

"I feel like I have lost my way. I used to be happy and vivacious and full of laughter and love, and now I just feel broken.

I know there is a path to happiness for everyone, but I just feel like I have strayed from mine, and that the sides of the road are rocky and jagged. I'm having trouble finding my way back. I am lost and alone and I feel like I'll never be happy again, because I've lost myself.''

Makin besar makin tak kenal diri sendiri eh?

Wide open;

Kadang-kadang, kita kena buka mata luas-luas dan pandang sekeliling.
Jangan sibuk nak kenangkan orang yang tak ingat kita,
Jangan sibuk nak mengejar benda yang kita tahu takan dapat.
Lihat sekeliling.
Masih ada lagi orang yang menunggu kita,
yang tolong kita bila kita rasa lost
Masih ada lagi harapan untuk kita end up dengan happy ending walaupun pada awalnya
jalan cerita kita tidak bermula dengan baik.
Buka minda.
Sebenarnya kita semua sama.
Kita semua ada masalah, ada rahsia masing-masing.
Cuma cara menangani masalah itu yang membezakan kita dengan orang lain.

Maka, bersyukurlah. Hargai apa yang ada di depan mata.
Jangan dek mengejar benda yang bukan milik kita,
kita hilang semua benda depan mata.

Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran.

Be strong, kawan.

Things I shouldn't do;

1. Saying bad things about others.
2. Having a crush at someone else.
3. Giving a fuck about other people's problem.
4. Interfering other people business.
5. Talking about someone else to others.
6. Putting hopes up too high.
7. Online 24/7.
8. Depending on others.
9. Trying to help others unless they ASK.
10. Giving out my opinion.
11. Buying cheap clothes because it won't fit me.
12. Obsessed with social network. I shouldn't have one.
13. Being too serious.
14. Cursing.
15. Covering things up. Lepas nie memang hilang bahasa kiasan aku.
16. Trying to be someone else. I'm beautiful in my own way.
17. Daydreaming without working on it.
18. Asking too much.
19. Caring too much.
20. Thinking too much. Demmit, look what it has got into me?

Happy girls are the prettiest. So be happy.

:3

One Day;

Some people ask me, why I wanna study psychology? I came from a technical background and with my results, engineering will be a better choice. And besides psychology is not a professional degree and it is in art stream. 

Hmm, well.

Since I was in form 3, I've made my mind to became a psychiatrist but I was confused back then. I was desperate to move out from my previous school so I just grabbed any offer. Unfortunately, technical school was the only offer I got. 

But I'm not a practical type of person. God knows how much I hate my course work. I suck at doing it. So how would I further the engineering if I couldn't understand the basic one?

I wanna become a great psychologist  but how would I claim myself 'great' if I don't study this thing from the beginning? I wanna people to know me, because I am the best in this field. If you wanna be the best in your field, you have to study about it from the beginning. Don't waste your time studying the thing that you don't really interested in.

I always love studying about a human mind. Why did she act like that? Is he lying to me? How can the human brain work actually. I wanna do something, something that I can contribute to the society. And by studying psychology, I could understand more about them, the reason of their actions. I have a few ideas scattered around in my head now about contributing something. It's not a big thing but  as what Aiman Azlan said, I don't wanna make a big change, buy a lot of small changes. I wanna do that too. :)

Tapi itulah, I still couldn't put it in a good way for people to understand the message. Yang itu nanti dululah. What I have to do now is to finish my foundation studies with a good result. 

One day, inshaAllah.

:3

Look how fast the times had fly;

Aku bukanlah dibesarkan dalam keluarga yang alim
Aku mula memakai hujab pun ketika di tingkatan 4,
itu pun dah akhir tahun.
Tapi aku rasa bersyukur, sebab tuhan masih sayangkan aku.
Perlahan-perlahan Dia buka pintu hati aku,
kembali ke jalan-Nya.
Dugaan nak berubah memang banyak. 
Macam-macam bisikan, hasutan yang datang.
Dan aku akui, kadang-kadang aku hanyut seketika.

Aku nie, bukan baik mana pun. 
Tak layak untuk dijadikan ikon atau idola whatsoever.
10A itu, aku anggap sebagai ganjaran.
Mungkin niat dihati nak berubah, tuhan bagi ganjaran.
Alhamdulillah, aku syukur tuhan beri kejayaan nie.

Tapi aku manusia biasa.
Masih cuba nak tetapkan hati, kuatkan iman.

Ramadhan kali ini, 
peluang untuk aku, untuk kita semua,
untuk bersihkan jiwa, tingkatkan iman, kawal nafsu, kumpul pahala.
Alhamdulillah.
Tuhan masih sayang aku, masih sayang kita.
Dia masih berikan peluang untuk menikmati Ramadhan tahun ini.

Semoga kita sama-sama diberkati. 
:)

Noted;

Many people are already knee deep in a pre-marital relationship before they realize they need to get out of it. I am heartbroken by the stories people told me about the difficult situations they're in. They want to get out, but they can't simply do it. 

Often times, it is not a simple black and white answer such as "Break up right now! It's haram!" Getting out of such a relationship is harder than ripping a band aid.

Having said that, I want to advice myself and everyone out there: Please, please, please, take care of yourself.

There is hikmah in what Allah made impermissible. We might not see it now, but we might see it later. The thing is, I fear that "later" might be too late.

"And do not APPROACH zina. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way." (Surah al-Isra, Ayah 32)

Take heed of this message. NOBODY is exempted from it. Nobody, not even married people.

Prevention is better - and less painful - than cure.

Indeed, Allah knows best.

sources